Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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(858): View more from California

So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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(940): View more from Texas

Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

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(303): View more from Colorado

there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation

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(512): View more from Texas

Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

(512): View more from Texas

Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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(425): View more from Washington

It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

It all started with a game of naked twister.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.

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