i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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