Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.