my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax