i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better