Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros