I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
