I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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