It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
