piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
