I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
