Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
