Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
