Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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