The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
