i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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