I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
