MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
it glows. i had to have it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize