this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
