I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
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Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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