Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
