why didn't you poke me back
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
