found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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