i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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