So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
