i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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