can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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