You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Oh god it's open bar.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize