They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
