My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
