at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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