Are we in a gay sports bar?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
