It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
