How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
