Jerry, you need to find god
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize