what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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