video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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