Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
