So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
