My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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