eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
