just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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