VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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