Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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