Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
