why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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