Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
