i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
