she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
