All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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