Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
