Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
