but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize