You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
