i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
