I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
only if we run a train.
done.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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