in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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