I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
