When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
