that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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